Simply Self Aware is a small discussion group originally set up in the Solihull area, with members meeting fortnightly in the peaceful setting of the Friends Meeting House in Hall Green. As the name suggests, we focus on discussing and exploring any subjects, topics or areas that can increase our self awareness, improve the quality of our life experience and the lives of those around us. As the founder of the group, I stand by the strapline, "Self Awareness, the portal through which we need to pass before we can expect to make lasting changes in our lives."
During the lockdown of 2020, the meetings moved online. Over the past year or so, we have been delighted to welcome many more members, having removed any geographical barriers. We are an informal and friendly group of people, always keen to welcome new members.
If you're interested just get in touch with us via the Contact page.
During the lockdown of 2020, the meetings moved online. Over the past year or so, we have been delighted to welcome many more members, having removed any geographical barriers. We are an informal and friendly group of people, always keen to welcome new members.
If you're interested just get in touch with us via the Contact page.
A few words from Charlie Jordan about Wednesday’s session of Simply Self Aware this Wednesday July 7th from 7pm.
'It’s Coming Home’… I keep hearing, so we’ll look at ‘Home’ & what that means for you. Not just the narrow definition of a place, but far more & how it’s changed over your life. What you carry with you & why? And we’ll delve deeper into the Haiku groove, zooming in to define it & weaving summer words… just before 'it' comes Home - either sunshine or the football! ⚽️🏠
This is a return visit by Charlie, by popular demand. Do come along. It's going to be both fun and creative.
Booking essential.
'It’s Coming Home’… I keep hearing, so we’ll look at ‘Home’ & what that means for you. Not just the narrow definition of a place, but far more & how it’s changed over your life. What you carry with you & why? And we’ll delve deeper into the Haiku groove, zooming in to define it & weaving summer words… just before 'it' comes Home - either sunshine or the football! ⚽️🏠
This is a return visit by Charlie, by popular demand. Do come along. It's going to be both fun and creative.
Booking essential.
Next Wednesday June 23rd we look forward to hearing Rob speak about the Self. Rob has led sessions for us before and they have been considered, informative and often surprising. So, do come along. Booking essential - via the Contact page or Facebook.
Self
A conversational exploration of self. This short, often used and seemingly simple word carries a rich tapestry of meanings. The session will not be offering answers, but will pose questions to direct our discussions: Who are you? What makes you up? What and where are your boundaries? What is the difference between your self and another. What is it like to be you?
Bring a pen and paper, an open mind for discussions and, of course, your self.
I would suggest Genius by David Whyte as a prelude to our discussions
https://thevalueofsparrows.wordpress.com/2018/10/29/words-genius-by-david-whyte/
Self
A conversational exploration of self. This short, often used and seemingly simple word carries a rich tapestry of meanings. The session will not be offering answers, but will pose questions to direct our discussions: Who are you? What makes you up? What and where are your boundaries? What is the difference between your self and another. What is it like to be you?
Bring a pen and paper, an open mind for discussions and, of course, your self.
I would suggest Genius by David Whyte as a prelude to our discussions
https://thevalueofsparrows.wordpress.com/2018/10/29/words-genius-by-david-whyte/
Wednesday May 26th. Our next session of Simply Self Aware is focusing on Transactional Analysis - a social psychology and a method to improve communication developed in the 1950s from the theories of Eric Berne.
To be honest - we won't be delving as deep as Berne on Wednesday. What interests me - and I hope you - under the flag of 'self awareness', is learning the 'basics' about the three main 'roles' that we can often unwittingly find ourselves taking on. Parent. Adult. Child. Within two of those roles, Parent and Child there are further sub-divisions. In discussion together and with given examples, we will become aware of what these roles might look like, when they can be useful, when they're not - and how we can choose to respond in a healthier way. Booking essential. Enquiries through the Contact page or via p/m Facebook.
Nearly time for the next online session of Simply Self Aware. On Wednesday May 12th we will be discussing the topic of Transference.
Transference is a phenomenon within psychotherapy in which the feelings a person had about their parents, as one example, are unconsciously redirected or transferred to the present situation. It usually concerns feelings from a primary relationship during childhood.
Recognising and learning more about Transference is the key to maturity, releasing us from any negative childhood ties.
In this session we will seek out the roots of Transference and focusing on the impact that Transference can have on relationships - whether that is with partners, friends, colleagues, bosses or other authority figures.
This session will take the form of shared discussion. I would ask that those who have time would watch the videos that I will put up and read any articles they can find. (Maybe not the ones referring to Transference between therapist and client as we will not be focusing on this aspect).
This can then be shared on Wednesday with other members who don’t have quite as much time. We are all teachers. We are all learners.
There will also be activities so please have pen and paper handy.
https://www.theschooloflife.com/thebookoflife/how-transference-makes-you-hard-to-live-with/
Email for details. Booking essential.
Transference is a phenomenon within psychotherapy in which the feelings a person had about their parents, as one example, are unconsciously redirected or transferred to the present situation. It usually concerns feelings from a primary relationship during childhood.
Recognising and learning more about Transference is the key to maturity, releasing us from any negative childhood ties.
In this session we will seek out the roots of Transference and focusing on the impact that Transference can have on relationships - whether that is with partners, friends, colleagues, bosses or other authority figures.
This session will take the form of shared discussion. I would ask that those who have time would watch the videos that I will put up and read any articles they can find. (Maybe not the ones referring to Transference between therapist and client as we will not be focusing on this aspect).
This can then be shared on Wednesday with other members who don’t have quite as much time. We are all teachers. We are all learners.
There will also be activities so please have pen and paper handy.
https://www.theschooloflife.com/thebookoflife/how-transference-makes-you-hard-to-live-with/
Email for details. Booking essential.
So looking forward to the next online session of Simply Self aware this Wednesday 28th at 7pm.
New interest always welcome. Booking essential though - contact me via the form for further details . Come along and give the group a try!
Mindfulness and Journaling with Charlie Jordan.
Radio presenter, former Birmingham Poet Laureate, Celebrant, Ambassador and online workshop host.
Our session brings a chance to build on the hope and promise of spring, you’ll be confident at Haiku within minutes!
We'll practice a simple 3 step Mindfulness practice of ‘Letting go’ of thoughts, ideas, habits & worries that can leave us stuck like molasses. And let’s be honest, the last 12 months have forced us all to remain ‘stuck’ like never before.
So how do we begin to unfold our crumpled wings? We’ll look ahead to the light at the end of the Spring tunnel. Transforming that earlier urge for new beginnings into small but brave actions that really make a difference. Lots of new Spring writing stuff to play with too.
As Winter nudges into Spring, we’ll stop to notice the last snow or first new flowers, greeting them with a practice of stubborn optimism.
New interest always welcome. Booking essential though - contact me via the form for further details . Come along and give the group a try!
Mindfulness and Journaling with Charlie Jordan.
Radio presenter, former Birmingham Poet Laureate, Celebrant, Ambassador and online workshop host.
Our session brings a chance to build on the hope and promise of spring, you’ll be confident at Haiku within minutes!
We'll practice a simple 3 step Mindfulness practice of ‘Letting go’ of thoughts, ideas, habits & worries that can leave us stuck like molasses. And let’s be honest, the last 12 months have forced us all to remain ‘stuck’ like never before.
So how do we begin to unfold our crumpled wings? We’ll look ahead to the light at the end of the Spring tunnel. Transforming that earlier urge for new beginnings into small but brave actions that really make a difference. Lots of new Spring writing stuff to play with too.
As Winter nudges into Spring, we’ll stop to notice the last snow or first new flowers, greeting them with a practice of stubborn optimism.
Next session for Simply Self Aware on Wednesday March 31st. Sound Therapy Workshop with Mel Burrows Echo Me Sound Therapy.
Discover what Sound Therapy is all about and experience a Sound Bath for yourself with this like-minded, friendly group. The event will be held via ZOOM. Contact Caroline and we will be in touch with payment details and link.
PRICE: £6.50
The Session: I'll share with you my journey into Sound Therapy and some of the theory / history that I have picked up so far followed by time for discussion and Q&A if you should have any. I will spend the last 20-30 minutes delivering a Sound Bath to you all. This will be focussed on Relaxation and Grounding. I will be using a selection of: Drum, Singing Bowls, Crystal Bowls, Gong, Chimes, Rainstick. We will then have a quick regroup afterwards to feedback
https://www.echometherapy.co.uk/blank-page-3
https://fb.me/e/49jDL6vVO
Soon be time for the next online session of Simply Self Aware. This coming Wednesday March 3rd.
It will be fascinating to learn more about Vipassana Meditation, its history and traditions and to try a taster for ourselves. Details below. Booking essential.
https://www.meetup.com/meetup-group-ftPobvtE/events/xgbtlryccfbfb/
Growth Mindset with Louise - Review
Louise referred us to the book ‘Growth Mindset Changing the way you Think, by Stanford psychologist Carol Dweck.
What are our core beliefs and how do they influence our lives?
How do we view our own mindsets? Fixed or Growth? Fixed doesn’t think it can be changed. Growth believes it can be changed but it might take some effort.
Growth thrives on challenge, viewing it as a springboard rather than a barrier.
Our mindset is probably a mix of Nature and Nurture. As parents though we can influence our children - steer them towards /model for them, either of the two - or both.
If we’re too Fixed it can lead to depression and demotivation. Fixed wants to look ‘smart’ therefore may avoid challenges - give up easily - feel threatened bu others’ successes. Growth is the opposite. `Even though growth may be ‘uncomfortable’ it recognises effort as mastery. Growth can learn from criticism (feedback), can be inspired by others’ success.
“Praise the effort not the outcome.”
Challenge our Inner Critic! The quality and tone of Self-Talk is significant.
At this point in the session, pairs were put in to breakout rooms.
The task was to ‘think of a thing or skill that you are not good at - describe it with a Fixed Mindset and then your partner has to paraphrase back using a Growth Mindset approach. 5 mins each’. This produced some interesting results.
We went on to hear that the biggest impact can be in personal relationships.
One can enter a relationship with a Fixed Mindset. “They’re not going to change - we’re not going to be compatible”. A growth mindset might say, “all things can be changed - and we can change things together.”
(But, seriously, we agreed that if only one person is looking to change things for the better - after a while it might be sensible to put the whip down and phone the local abattoir - “a flogging horse dead” - rearrange this sentence.)
When dealing with conflict, Fixed prefers to apportion blame. Growth has developed the skills, inc resilience, to acknowledge and deal with conflict, move on.
Rob alerted us to the theory of The Low Threshold of Annoyance. Calling each other out on annoying things straight away - not bottling them up or storing them.(See TED Talk The Mathematics of Love Hannah Fry)
We were reminded of the wise old adage of many a long-married couple, “Don’t let the sun go down on your anger.’
This idea of either one or the other elicited lots of questions and several “yeah buts`…
When could a Fixed `mindset actually be useful? Could it be a good thing maybe? If you work towards a Growth Mindset can you ever really achieve it? What if the anxious and negative are always the initial response?
And what about the variables - a diagnosis of autism or Aspergers?
Towards the end I think we could appreciate that both Fixed and Growth might alternate throughout our lives. It was good to be reminded that at the end of the day (at the end of every and any day) its Balance we’re looking for - in all matters.
Louise referred us to the book ‘Growth Mindset Changing the way you Think, by Stanford psychologist Carol Dweck.
What are our core beliefs and how do they influence our lives?
How do we view our own mindsets? Fixed or Growth? Fixed doesn’t think it can be changed. Growth believes it can be changed but it might take some effort.
Growth thrives on challenge, viewing it as a springboard rather than a barrier.
Our mindset is probably a mix of Nature and Nurture. As parents though we can influence our children - steer them towards /model for them, either of the two - or both.
If we’re too Fixed it can lead to depression and demotivation. Fixed wants to look ‘smart’ therefore may avoid challenges - give up easily - feel threatened bu others’ successes. Growth is the opposite. `Even though growth may be ‘uncomfortable’ it recognises effort as mastery. Growth can learn from criticism (feedback), can be inspired by others’ success.
“Praise the effort not the outcome.”
Challenge our Inner Critic! The quality and tone of Self-Talk is significant.
At this point in the session, pairs were put in to breakout rooms.
The task was to ‘think of a thing or skill that you are not good at - describe it with a Fixed Mindset and then your partner has to paraphrase back using a Growth Mindset approach. 5 mins each’. This produced some interesting results.
We went on to hear that the biggest impact can be in personal relationships.
One can enter a relationship with a Fixed Mindset. “They’re not going to change - we’re not going to be compatible”. A growth mindset might say, “all things can be changed - and we can change things together.”
(But, seriously, we agreed that if only one person is looking to change things for the better - after a while it might be sensible to put the whip down and phone the local abattoir - “a flogging horse dead” - rearrange this sentence.)
When dealing with conflict, Fixed prefers to apportion blame. Growth has developed the skills, inc resilience, to acknowledge and deal with conflict, move on.
Rob alerted us to the theory of The Low Threshold of Annoyance. Calling each other out on annoying things straight away - not bottling them up or storing them.(See TED Talk The Mathematics of Love Hannah Fry)
We were reminded of the wise old adage of many a long-married couple, “Don’t let the sun go down on your anger.’
This idea of either one or the other elicited lots of questions and several “yeah buts`…
When could a Fixed `mindset actually be useful? Could it be a good thing maybe? If you work towards a Growth Mindset can you ever really achieve it? What if the anxious and negative are always the initial response?
And what about the variables - a diagnosis of autism or Aspergers?
Towards the end I think we could appreciate that both Fixed and Growth might alternate throughout our lives. It was good to be reminded that at the end of the day (at the end of every and any day) its Balance we’re looking for - in all matters.
Click hReview of Word for the Year
Six of us took part in last Wednesday’s thought-full and lively session. Members had been given a variety of resources ahead of time, including a kind of check-sheet on the Before, Now and Next.
The first thing we did was to change our names onscreen to our chosen Word for the Year. The visual effect of doing this was quite noticeable.
Present that night were, Embodiment, Resilience, Breathe, Vitality, Connectivity and Grow. (It was interesting to note that Growth became Grow before the session was out; from a noun to a verb.)
We recapped on how we might have ‘found’ our Word - but mostly agreed that our Word had actually ‘found’ us!
I was curious to know what themes from the past year had led to member’s Words being attracted to them or vice versa. Where would they like to see themselves being or doing by the end of this year?
It was fascinating to hear what each person had to say about why their chosen Word was their chosen Word. Honest and sincere sharing early on gave ‘permission’ for everyone to open up about their Word and what it meant to them.
It was beneficial to be able to ask questions and to offer feedback between one another.
In addition to the Words being voiced, another word, Joy, cropped up several times in the shares of several members. It would seem that Joy/restoration of Joy would be one of the outcomes from the Word becoming manifest. Joy had been missing for quite a while for some.
We started to paint a picture of how things will be when the Word is more in place. But first, how were we going to to bring it into our daily life?
I hope the stimulating sharing of ideas will benefit all those that took part and reading the review will encourage those that couldn’t.
ere to edit.
Six of us took part in last Wednesday’s thought-full and lively session. Members had been given a variety of resources ahead of time, including a kind of check-sheet on the Before, Now and Next.
The first thing we did was to change our names onscreen to our chosen Word for the Year. The visual effect of doing this was quite noticeable.
Present that night were, Embodiment, Resilience, Breathe, Vitality, Connectivity and Grow. (It was interesting to note that Growth became Grow before the session was out; from a noun to a verb.)
We recapped on how we might have ‘found’ our Word - but mostly agreed that our Word had actually ‘found’ us!
I was curious to know what themes from the past year had led to member’s Words being attracted to them or vice versa. Where would they like to see themselves being or doing by the end of this year?
It was fascinating to hear what each person had to say about why their chosen Word was their chosen Word. Honest and sincere sharing early on gave ‘permission’ for everyone to open up about their Word and what it meant to them.
It was beneficial to be able to ask questions and to offer feedback between one another.
In addition to the Words being voiced, another word, Joy, cropped up several times in the shares of several members. It would seem that Joy/restoration of Joy would be one of the outcomes from the Word becoming manifest. Joy had been missing for quite a while for some.
We started to paint a picture of how things will be when the Word is more in place. But first, how were we going to to bring it into our daily life?
I hope the stimulating sharing of ideas will benefit all those that took part and reading the review will encourage those that couldn’t.
ere to edit.
Almost time for the next session of Simply Self Aware. Wednesday February 3rd from 7pm.
We're going to be talking about a Word for the Year. This idea has really taken off in the past few years and often replaces that long list of New Year's Resolutions - many of which don't make it past January 5th! We'll look, together, at ways to come up with the Word, what it could do for us and how to take it forward into the year, without the whole thing just becoming another burdensome chore!
Details below. Booking essential.
https://www.meetup.com/meetup-group-ftPobvtE/events/xgbtlryccdbfb/
We're going to be talking about a Word for the Year. This idea has really taken off in the past few years and often replaces that long list of New Year's Resolutions - many of which don't make it past January 5th! We'll look, together, at ways to come up with the Word, what it could do for us and how to take it forward into the year, without the whole thing just becoming another burdensome chore!
Details below. Booking essential.
https://www.meetup.com/meetup-group-ftPobvtE/events/xgbtlryccdbfb/
Simply Self Aware next session Wednesday January 20th 2021
Addiction
This is going to be an engaging and informative session. Everyone knows about addiction - but few people want to talk about it...until now
https://www.meetup.com/meetup-group-ftPobvtE/events/xgbtlrycccbbc/
So much to look forward to this Wednesday. This is what is lined up for us:
Following on from Rob’s brilliant session a couple of weeks ago, Wednesday’s conversation will focus on addiction. We’ll discuss the frameworks that have been used to explain addiction and how they influence our perceptions. We’ll also think about what addiction means in real terms: for people suffering with it and those around them. What does it feel like? Why does it feel like that? What should we do at an individual, societal, and political level? What should we not do?
If everyone could come ready with their own potential addictions, stories, reflections (scientific and political allowed!) and curiosity, that would be brilliant. There’s SO much to watch/listen to/read out there, here are some things I found especially compelling:
1. What is the power of addiction? [Gabor Maté TED talk; 19mins] https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=66cYcSak6nE
2. Why is compassion the answer [Johann Hari TED talk; 15mins] https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=PY9DcIMGxMs
3. Is addiction a criminal or health issue? [Matthew Perry/Peter Hitchens interview; 11mins] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CDtIZZiySgA
4. Does the difficulty/beauty of life justify addiction? [Richard Burton on Michael Parkinson; 12’30” – 17’52”] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AcSuQf4RZWs
5. Is it ok to laugh at addiction? [Two Dope Kings story on This American Life; 5’17” – 35’13”] https://www.thisamericanlife.org/667/wartime-radio
https://youtu.be/66cYcSak6nE
Addiction
This is going to be an engaging and informative session. Everyone knows about addiction - but few people want to talk about it...until now
https://www.meetup.com/meetup-group-ftPobvtE/events/xgbtlrycccbbc/
So much to look forward to this Wednesday. This is what is lined up for us:
Following on from Rob’s brilliant session a couple of weeks ago, Wednesday’s conversation will focus on addiction. We’ll discuss the frameworks that have been used to explain addiction and how they influence our perceptions. We’ll also think about what addiction means in real terms: for people suffering with it and those around them. What does it feel like? Why does it feel like that? What should we do at an individual, societal, and political level? What should we not do?
If everyone could come ready with their own potential addictions, stories, reflections (scientific and political allowed!) and curiosity, that would be brilliant. There’s SO much to watch/listen to/read out there, here are some things I found especially compelling:
1. What is the power of addiction? [Gabor Maté TED talk; 19mins] https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=66cYcSak6nE
2. Why is compassion the answer [Johann Hari TED talk; 15mins] https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=PY9DcIMGxMs
3. Is addiction a criminal or health issue? [Matthew Perry/Peter Hitchens interview; 11mins] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CDtIZZiySgA
4. Does the difficulty/beauty of life justify addiction? [Richard Burton on Michael Parkinson; 12’30” – 17’52”] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AcSuQf4RZWs
5. Is it ok to laugh at addiction? [Two Dope Kings story on This American Life; 5’17” – 35’13”] https://www.thisamericanlife.org/667/wartime-radio
https://youtu.be/66cYcSak6nE
Review of Core Values Session Nov 25th
6 members of Simply Self Aware took part in this interesting and revealing session.
We began by reflecting on where those initial values and beliefs come from and when/how we begin to drop or change some of them. All agreed that in order to lead an authentic life, we really need our lifestyle our choices to match our core values and beliefs.
We had each looked at some of those core values built on our beliefs and views. Choosing one tor two, we shared about them and where/whether they showed up in our lives.
So many of them resonated with the group:
Fairness, loyalty, equality of worth, integrity, authenticity, c connectedness and service to others.
(Seriously, what a lovely bunch of people, right?)
It was interesting to hear of instances where the values were strongly held, in regard to treatment of others, but didn’t seem to be in place towards ourselves!
We also asked, what can get in the way of us living out our values and beliefs. We came up with various factors including poverty, lack of access to the necessary opportunities and resources, physical and/or mental illness, status - concerns or pressures from peer groups - whether they be social, religious, corporate. We acknowledged the potential difficulty of living out our core values and beliefs when they do not match those of out partner, people we live with or the communities we belong to.
The session was a good match for many of the sessions that we have held in the last two yers that have been run on Simply Self Aware. Thank you to all who contributed so thought-fully and generously.
6 members of Simply Self Aware took part in this interesting and revealing session.
We began by reflecting on where those initial values and beliefs come from and when/how we begin to drop or change some of them. All agreed that in order to lead an authentic life, we really need our lifestyle our choices to match our core values and beliefs.
We had each looked at some of those core values built on our beliefs and views. Choosing one tor two, we shared about them and where/whether they showed up in our lives.
So many of them resonated with the group:
Fairness, loyalty, equality of worth, integrity, authenticity, c connectedness and service to others.
(Seriously, what a lovely bunch of people, right?)
It was interesting to hear of instances where the values were strongly held, in regard to treatment of others, but didn’t seem to be in place towards ourselves!
We also asked, what can get in the way of us living out our values and beliefs. We came up with various factors including poverty, lack of access to the necessary opportunities and resources, physical and/or mental illness, status - concerns or pressures from peer groups - whether they be social, religious, corporate. We acknowledged the potential difficulty of living out our core values and beliefs when they do not match those of out partner, people we live with or the communities we belong to.
The session was a good match for many of the sessions that we have held in the last two yers that have been run on Simply Self Aware. Thank you to all who contributed so thought-fully and generously.
The next session of Simply Self Aware: Wednesday November 25th from 7pm.
Values and Core Beliefs. Online Event.
Details below.
Booking essential
https://www.meetup.com/meetup-group-ftPobvtE/events/xgbtlrybcpbhc/
Values and Core Beliefs. Online Event.
Details below.
Booking essential
https://www.meetup.com/meetup-group-ftPobvtE/events/xgbtlrybcpbhc/
This is going to be another groundbreaking session - I can just feel it! "What is your emotional relationship to money?"
Imagine where we might go with that?
Come and join us next Wednesday Nov 11th from 7pm online.
Details below - booking essential.
https://www.meetup.com/meetup-group-ftPobvtE/events/xgbtlrybcpbpb/
Imagine where we might go with that?
Come and join us next Wednesday Nov 11th from 7pm online.
Details below - booking essential.
https://www.meetup.com/meetup-group-ftPobvtE/events/xgbtlrybcpbpb/
Emotional Trauma
Where can I start with feeding back on last night’s session of Simply Self Aware? Kata spoke to us about Emotional Trauma, the impact on the nervous system and releasing blocks.
10 of us were online to hear all that Kata had to share with us. We benefitted tremendously from not only her professional medical knowledge on the topic but also her personal strategies for recognising, accepting and releasing emotional tensions from the body.
A blend of physical spiritual and emotional strands.
We thought about stress and what it means to each of us. There were points for and against it. ‘Some can’t stand it - some thrive on it.” We felt that a balance between using stress to motivate us and letting stress paralyse us was needed.
Kata illustrated the physiological information she was giving us with several interesting studies and experiments - (sadly) - done using mice. We also heard fascinating facts about zebras and baboons.
We covered facts about the hormone glycocortisol, the amygdala and its function within the limbic system. How it processes ‘fear’ and sends those familiar fight flight or flee messages to the hypothalamus.
We heard about the difference between our animalistic responses and our human responses. The role of dopamine - the ‘reward’ hormone and how, in experiments, mice would choose the dopamine hit over the food, to the point of starvation - literally.
This got us thinking about addiction - a topic that we will be adding to our list for the New Year.
In the second part of the talk Kata took us through healthier ways to manage our emotions. We were already skilled upon ways to stuff, avoid, deny, react to emotions! But now we had healthier options to contemplate.
The amygdala gets triggered, the emotion manifests, the frontal lobe (cortex) begins to analyse three is resistance -
“I shouldn’t be feeling like this/I don’t want to feel like this..” This resistance generates more impulses and round and round it goes…
It was suggested that we stop judging the experiences. Locate them in the body, observe them, allow them to rise up without interference. It helps to remember that it is our animalistic past that can help us. (Remember the story of the Zebra, guys?)
We had a round the screen share on our preferred self-soothers - some helpful, some less helpful - others merely distractions!
Sugar, nicotine, drumming, running, meditation, cakes, bike rides, nature, gripping TV dramas, knitting, wine, breathing, mindfulness vipassana and walking.
“It’s not always that the situation is that stressful - it is our thoughts about the situation.”
Take away words and phrases from this highly informative and enlightening session inc:
Zebra, Baboon, glycocortisol, amygdala, self-awareness etc
Thank you to everyone for their contributions and for making this such an impactful session - most of all thanks to Kata.
Where can I start with feeding back on last night’s session of Simply Self Aware? Kata spoke to us about Emotional Trauma, the impact on the nervous system and releasing blocks.
10 of us were online to hear all that Kata had to share with us. We benefitted tremendously from not only her professional medical knowledge on the topic but also her personal strategies for recognising, accepting and releasing emotional tensions from the body.
A blend of physical spiritual and emotional strands.
We thought about stress and what it means to each of us. There were points for and against it. ‘Some can’t stand it - some thrive on it.” We felt that a balance between using stress to motivate us and letting stress paralyse us was needed.
Kata illustrated the physiological information she was giving us with several interesting studies and experiments - (sadly) - done using mice. We also heard fascinating facts about zebras and baboons.
We covered facts about the hormone glycocortisol, the amygdala and its function within the limbic system. How it processes ‘fear’ and sends those familiar fight flight or flee messages to the hypothalamus.
We heard about the difference between our animalistic responses and our human responses. The role of dopamine - the ‘reward’ hormone and how, in experiments, mice would choose the dopamine hit over the food, to the point of starvation - literally.
This got us thinking about addiction - a topic that we will be adding to our list for the New Year.
In the second part of the talk Kata took us through healthier ways to manage our emotions. We were already skilled upon ways to stuff, avoid, deny, react to emotions! But now we had healthier options to contemplate.
The amygdala gets triggered, the emotion manifests, the frontal lobe (cortex) begins to analyse three is resistance -
“I shouldn’t be feeling like this/I don’t want to feel like this..” This resistance generates more impulses and round and round it goes…
It was suggested that we stop judging the experiences. Locate them in the body, observe them, allow them to rise up without interference. It helps to remember that it is our animalistic past that can help us. (Remember the story of the Zebra, guys?)
We had a round the screen share on our preferred self-soothers - some helpful, some less helpful - others merely distractions!
Sugar, nicotine, drumming, running, meditation, cakes, bike rides, nature, gripping TV dramas, knitting, wine, breathing, mindfulness vipassana and walking.
“It’s not always that the situation is that stressful - it is our thoughts about the situation.”
Take away words and phrases from this highly informative and enlightening session inc:
Zebra, Baboon, glycocortisol, amygdala, self-awareness etc
Thank you to everyone for their contributions and for making this such an impactful session - most of all thanks to Kata.
Leading on nicely from two (yes, we needed two) sessions on Anger, the next online session of Simply Self Aware is on Emotional Intelligence. Check below for details. Booking essential.
http://meetu.ps/e/Jr2bz/kpHRM/a
http://meetu.ps/e/Jr2bz/kpHRM/a
Wednesday Sept 30th. The end of the month but not the end of our meaty topic 'Anger', that's for sure.
Simply Self Aware is holding a second session on this hot subject. Let's face it - Anger - an emotional state that touches all of of our lives...often more than we'd like. Come along (online). All are welcome. Booking essential. See below.
https://www.meetup.com/meetup-group-ftPobvtE/events/xgbtlrybcmbnc/
Simply Self Aware is holding a second session on this hot subject. Let's face it - Anger - an emotional state that touches all of of our lives...often more than we'd like. Come along (online). All are welcome. Booking essential. See below.
https://www.meetup.com/meetup-group-ftPobvtE/events/xgbtlrybcmbnc/
September 16th our Simply Self Aware topic was on Anger. So much to be said about this subject that we ran right out of time. I’m grateful to Esme Hawkes for not only suggesting this topic but for leading on it too.
Esme took us through some insightful ideas from the book, The *Dance of Anger by Harriet Lerner. Although published in 1990 excerpts and ideas still felt fresh and relevant for today.
“A lot of energy behind anger - it hides something.” ‘The Bodyguard of Sadness’.
It was felt that Anger is one of the Big Emotions that impacts others in a way that perhaps other emotions don’t.
We heard there are different types of responses in a conflict situation. eg the Distancer - more DIY than help-seeker, often labelled as emotionally unavailable. If a relationship problem seems to difficult to resolve - chop it off!
Pursuer - not able to leave the situation alone. Hounding for a resolution. Wants it all to be better.
We heard an example of Over functioning and Under functioning, Over being common in a firstborn, Under in the youngest. (Ask Esme about Jane, Steph, the German Shepherd and the Vet!)
In conflict situations, we know that the initial response is physical. Our Prehistoric or Chimp brain feels it (literally) as a threat. Not a hairy mammoth - but the response is the same - a need for Fight Flight or Freeze.
So pausing without re-acting can give that cortisol flood time to subside as well as an opportunity to consider what’s really going on.
A great quote, “we often march off to battle without knowing what the war’s about.”
Towards the end of the session we looked at things to consider when anger and conflicts arise:
Look to see where you’re personally responsible
Try to communicate your needs - instead of “you never listen!” try “I don’t feel heard”. Making ‘I’ statements rather than ‘You’ statements is far less inflammatory.
Sometimes people don’t adapt well to us changing the steps of the *Dance and may try to coerce us back into the ‘old’ dance routine.
We considered that different people put different values/emphasis on ‘what is showing love’. For one it may be vacuuming for the other it’s romantic gestures...(you can see how that could end in tears..!)
We were told about Askers vs Guessers.
Askers - a typical example - Public School background - direct/assertive.
Guessers - middle class stereotypical British - “will it be okay to ask..😬?”
And there...the clock beat us! I’m delighted to say that Esme has agreed to at least start off Anger Part 2 for us on Wednesday September 30th. Even if you missed Part 1 there will be much to be gained from joining us for Part 2.
Coming up soon - Simply Self Aware's online September Special. After almost half a year in lockdown, Im pretty sure that there's plenty to talk about. Bring it all - the gratitude, the grumbles, the growths...all are welcome.
https://www.meetup.com/meetup-group-ftPobvtE/events/xgbtlrybcmbdb/
https://www.meetup.com/meetup-group-ftPobvtE/events/xgbtlrybcmbdb/
Its summer. So what could be better than a Summer Get Together. Come and join us next Wednesday August 5th for our Simply Self Aware session: August Summer Special. Details below.
https://www.meetup.com/meetup-group-ftPobvtE/events/xgbtlrybclbhb/
https://www.meetup.com/meetup-group-ftPobvtE/events/xgbtlrybclbhb/
Not long until our next session of Simply Self Aware: Language of Second Chances.
Wednesday July 22nd from 7pm. Details below. Looking forward to meeting you there.
https://www.meetup.com/meetup-group-ftPobvtE/events/xgbtlrybclbhb/
Wednesday July 22nd from 7pm. Details below. Looking forward to meeting you there.
https://www.meetup.com/meetup-group-ftPobvtE/events/xgbtlrybclbhb/
Click here tSimply Self Aware session July 8th:
Affirmations for Self Esteem
We had a fair turnout online last night with plenty of energy zooming round the screen. It was good to greet another newcomer, a welcome addition to the growing group. Combining the topics of Self Esteem and Affirmations meant there was quite a bit to talk about.
We wondered about Self Esteem and, through discussion, found some satisfactory definitions for it.
Next we heard about Affirmations - what they are, why they might work and how we might go about creating personalised affirmations of our own.
We agreed that affirmations can mean much more than just the written word or images on a board and that there were many ways in which affirmations can be created and put to use.
Although it might seem that a natural progression would be to spend part of a future session creating affirmations of our own - and this was put forward towards the end - feedback following the session indicated something else. Valid points were made, eg that creating ‘crafts’ is always more enjoyable when done in a physical group, rather than on one’s own. Not everyone is in to ‘craftiness’ - it’s just not everyone’s cup of tea!
Added to which, we had some great suggestions for future topics that grabbed attention from the group: Coping with Change, Anger, Defining the Dependencies.Expanding on the theme of affirmations, the next session on Wednesday July 22nd will be The Language of Second Chances - a workshop about connection not correction, expansion not limitation. The idea came from discussions around the perceived lack and loss that so many have experienced both during and as a result of the lengthy UK lockdown. Loss emanates anxiety, trauma and bereavement. Let’s talk at what we can control in the present rather than what we could not in the past.
Advance notice of summer dates. There will be a session as usual on Wednesday August 5th but no session on Wednesday August 19th
Affirmations for Self Esteem
We had a fair turnout online last night with plenty of energy zooming round the screen. It was good to greet another newcomer, a welcome addition to the growing group. Combining the topics of Self Esteem and Affirmations meant there was quite a bit to talk about.
We wondered about Self Esteem and, through discussion, found some satisfactory definitions for it.
Next we heard about Affirmations - what they are, why they might work and how we might go about creating personalised affirmations of our own.
We agreed that affirmations can mean much more than just the written word or images on a board and that there were many ways in which affirmations can be created and put to use.
Although it might seem that a natural progression would be to spend part of a future session creating affirmations of our own - and this was put forward towards the end - feedback following the session indicated something else. Valid points were made, eg that creating ‘crafts’ is always more enjoyable when done in a physical group, rather than on one’s own. Not everyone is in to ‘craftiness’ - it’s just not everyone’s cup of tea!
Added to which, we had some great suggestions for future topics that grabbed attention from the group: Coping with Change, Anger, Defining the Dependencies.Expanding on the theme of affirmations, the next session on Wednesday July 22nd will be The Language of Second Chances - a workshop about connection not correction, expansion not limitation. The idea came from discussions around the perceived lack and loss that so many have experienced both during and as a result of the lengthy UK lockdown. Loss emanates anxiety, trauma and bereavement. Let’s talk at what we can control in the present rather than what we could not in the past.
Advance notice of summer dates. There will be a session as usual on Wednesday August 5th but no session on Wednesday August 19th
https://www.meetup.com/meetup-group-ftPobvtE/events/xgbtlrybckblb/Affirmations for self-esteem
People ask if using affirmations works. I say, in my experience, negative affirmations certainly did: Pride comes before a fall, You only get one bite of the cherry, You’ll come to nothing - that sort of thing. They all contributed to lowered expectations and a generally fearful outlook. So why wouldn’t upbeat statements, only with the opposite outcomes?
In this session, together, we will find a definition for Self Esteem. Next, we’ll consider affirmations as an effective tool to move us from limiting self-talk and self-beliefs towards a more supportive and realistic view of ourselves.
Hopefully, members will have found time to identify areas of esteem that they feel would benefit from a little lift. This will give each of us a focus for planning and creating personalised affirmations for ourselves.
In the unlikely event that we will have time to start in making these, do bring some materials ‘to the screen’. Card or stiff paper, plain or coloured, scissors, glue, tape, stickers, felt tips, marker pens, pens, pencils etc
Failing which, we can make the next session an online workshop for making them.
People ask if using affirmations works. I say, in my experience, negative affirmations certainly did: Pride comes before a fall, You only get one bite of the cherry, You’ll come to nothing - that sort of thing. They all contributed to lowered expectations and a generally fearful outlook. So why wouldn’t upbeat statements, only with the opposite outcomes?
In this session, together, we will find a definition for Self Esteem. Next, we’ll consider affirmations as an effective tool to move us from limiting self-talk and self-beliefs towards a more supportive and realistic view of ourselves.
Hopefully, members will have found time to identify areas of esteem that they feel would benefit from a little lift. This will give each of us a focus for planning and creating personalised affirmations for ourselves.
In the unlikely event that we will have time to start in making these, do bring some materials ‘to the screen’. Card or stiff paper, plain or coloured, scissors, glue, tape, stickers, felt tips, marker pens, pens, pencils etc
Failing which, we can make the next session an online workshop for making them.
Unentangling Empathy - 24 June 2020
I'm delighted that Rob, one of our most enthusiastic members is going to share with us on the topic of Empathy.
A group discussion examining empathy; how it makes us, how it affects our lives, the pros and the cons, ending with a empathy related meditation.
Please take time to check out some or allow these links, in preparation for the session.
https://youtu.be/1Evwgu369Jw
https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/w3csz1v4
https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/what-is-empathy/id1172855980?i=1000461492273
https://youtu.be/YVCwjjT_CVY
ONLINE ONLY.
This is an online event - not at our usual venue in Hall Green. This will give more of you the opportunity to join in, share tools or pick up news ones to add to your kit.
£6.50
Payment to be made via BACS (please contact me for details)
Just text me with your name and the Wednesday Session you’re booking for. Once I’ve received your payment, I can send you the link for the webinar.
Caroline 07970213397
Attendees (4)
I'm delighted that Rob, one of our most enthusiastic members is going to share with us on the topic of Empathy.
A group discussion examining empathy; how it makes us, how it affects our lives, the pros and the cons, ending with a empathy related meditation.
Please take time to check out some or allow these links, in preparation for the session.
https://youtu.be/1Evwgu369Jw
https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/w3csz1v4
https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/what-is-empathy/id1172855980?i=1000461492273
https://youtu.be/YVCwjjT_CVY
ONLINE ONLY.
This is an online event - not at our usual venue in Hall Green. This will give more of you the opportunity to join in, share tools or pick up news ones to add to your kit.
£6.50
Payment to be made via BACS (please contact me for details)
Just text me with your name and the Wednesday Session you’re booking for. Once I’ve received your payment, I can send you the link for the webinar.
Caroline 07970213397
Attendees (4)
Simply Self Aware Going Online
Great news. Simply Self Aware is going online for the time being. Starting from Wednesday April 1st anyone, anywhere will be able to access the sessions. (Who said nothing good is happening right now?)
This Wednesdays topic: Let’s Talk Tools!
Go over to my page on Meetup.com for more details. See you soon.
Check out Simply Self Aware on Meetup
Great news. Simply Self Aware is going online for the time being. Starting from Wednesday April 1st anyone, anywhere will be able to access the sessions. (Who said nothing good is happening right now?)
This Wednesdays topic: Let’s Talk Tools!
Go over to my page on Meetup.com for more details. See you soon.
Check out Simply Self Aware on Meetup
Simply Self Aware Meet Up
A new decade has begun. And after a successful 2019, our Simply Self Aware MeetUp group has got off to a great start. Our first session was a review of 2019 and a plan for the coming year.
On January 22nd we are delighted to welcome Bobby Sura from the Solihull Well Being Clinic when he will be talking about ‘Attachment: the seeds of self development’.
Simply Self Aware is a small discussion group, facilitated by Caroline, where like-minded members can share positive ideas and experiences in a friendly, relaxed and peaceful setting. Apart from Self Awareness itself, topics to date have included: Self Acceptance, Forgiveness of Self and Others and My Self in the World.
We meet fortnightly on a Wednesday evening 7.00 - 8.30 pm at Hall Green Meeting House, 1 Hamlet Road Birmingham B28 9BG. Ample parking.
Refreshments included. Pay what you feel you can afford but £7.50 min.
A new decade has begun. And after a successful 2019, our Simply Self Aware MeetUp group has got off to a great start. Our first session was a review of 2019 and a plan for the coming year.
On January 22nd we are delighted to welcome Bobby Sura from the Solihull Well Being Clinic when he will be talking about ‘Attachment: the seeds of self development’.
Simply Self Aware is a small discussion group, facilitated by Caroline, where like-minded members can share positive ideas and experiences in a friendly, relaxed and peaceful setting. Apart from Self Awareness itself, topics to date have included: Self Acceptance, Forgiveness of Self and Others and My Self in the World.
We meet fortnightly on a Wednesday evening 7.00 - 8.30 pm at Hall Green Meeting House, 1 Hamlet Road Birmingham B28 9BG. Ample parking.
Refreshments included. Pay what you feel you can afford but £7.50 min.
